I think I've got ridiculously overblown in searching for validation through other people (namely the boy) at the moment- I've barely left him alone today because he seems 'off' with me, and so therefore the natural response is of course to aggravate him the whole day through, as opposed to just accepting that human beings have changeable moods and that it's just natural.  It's like I'm annoyed at him about it or something; quite clearly he hasn't done anything wrong (apart from not making a phone call that he needs for his MA application) but I'm getting all het up and arsey over it.  Le sigh.

Trying to get through my 30 minutes of exercise a day on the Wii Fit, so the carrot of the happy fanfare will at least mean that I have got off my arse for a moment, even if it isn't the most dramatic form of exercise in the world.

I think I'm still hungry; maybe that's why I'm so grouchy.  Made me a very nice carrot and coriander soup today but then managed to cock up the quantities I needed to reheat, so I've had the smallest lunch in the world.  Also, tidying up all the blender stuff to put it away is a miraculous game of tetris in itself, it needs washing up first.  Yay.

Completely forgot what day it was yesterday so ended up compeletely forgetting about therapy group until half 4 (starts at 4).  Ended up legging it out the house and getting there at twenty to five, which wasn't that bad, they'd apparently decided I had forgotten which was indeed true.  The counsellor then sprung on me that he thinks I have issues I'm not admitting to myself- well if I do, I'm damned if I know.  I consider myself fairly self aware, if not excessively so to the point of being bogged down in my own self criticism, and I have nooo clue what secret issues I may be hiding.  FML.

Shit I am in such a pissy mood you guys!

This morning didn't start very well for my grand ideas of spending a day working because after having returned from Future of the Left last night (Dane enjoyed them very much; personally I don't see how guitar feedback and whacking your head on a keyboard-or so it seemed-makes music but there you go) I woke up with horrendous tinnitus and a splitting headache.  My ears are still faintly ringing now, apparently.  So I ended up taking two ibuprofen and going back to sleep for another 3 hours until midday, which is horrendously late for me and kind of wrecked my grand aims of making soup and writing my dissertation.

I have greatly distressed one of my housemates by buying some Camembert yesterday- it's already stunk out the fridge! Apparently the smell of cheese makes her feel sick...but I lurrves me some tasty tasty mould-ripened soft cheese, had it in a mini-pasta bake with tuna, red pepper and red onion tonight and it was soo good!  But I probably won't be getting any kisses tonight o lol o lol.

I have written about another 300 words of my dissertation, but I'm struggling with this chapter, as the Baader-Meinhof complex is such a strange novel due to the fact it is basically historical narrative and not fiction, thus making it very difficult to critically analyse.  I had a couple of brainwaves about themes yesterday during the gig, so was frantically writing on my phone about fears of a Nazi resurgence and the legacy of decolonisation, must have looked a wee bit odd!

I'm aiming to reach the magical half an hour goal on my Wii fit today- thinking about that, it's quite sad that I should be so proud to do such a minimal amount of exercise!  I end up putting on so much weight at uni because whilst I love to cook, I can never think of what to cook and end up being phenomenally lazy, which is never good.

Ended up bickering with the boy today- he has a 2000 word 'learning log' (basically a trumped up homework diary; somewhat ridiculous for the third year of a degree, but I digress) in for tomorrow and hadn't done anything, so I took to nagging him at 2-hourly intervals, and then because he was stressed he got all pissy at me.  I went for the rather immature response of 'didn't your mother ever tell you to do your homework and not leave it til the last minute', which didn't go down that well...but ah well.  Doing my bit to fulfil nagging stereotypes, one step at a time! :p

Tuesday

I have really done very little today, it's most irksome.  It's like I sit here staring at my laptop and occasionally I get a flash of inspiration (as happened earlier and ended up writing about 300 words on the fact that the phrase 'the green book' encapsulates not only Irish lore but the subjugation of the Irish consciousness to an English Protestant identity because Protestant prayer books are green...I think it's an interesting thought, if I do say so myself, but how to fit it in with my theme!?) but it ends up being really hard to attempt to vaguely motivate myself.

I had 50/50 balance on the Wii Fit yesterday morning and then I practiced on mine when I got in and found my balance was 4.6% skewed to the left, the trials of my life! :P

Sent off the article for my MA interview today, rather scary...Hopefully it'll be good enough and I can get a place, or else it's all rather scary, considering my ownership of a flat for next year.

Got back yesterday at about 5, think housemates might have been bitching about me not immediately rushing round to spend time with them, but as the boy pointed out, it's a two-way relationship, they can just as easily choose to come and spend time with me!  I beat myself up so much for not going to spend time with them all the time, but really, what is to stop them getting off their arses and actually coming to chat to me, as opposed to just coming to see me because I am apparently some sort of handy human thesaurus?

I'm also umming and aah-ing over Firefox and Chrome.  I do find Chrome a lot faster, but I'm using the beta release or w/e because otherwise my add-ons won't work, and I've heard that Firefox is a lot more secure.  Thoughts?

Work

I am currently trying to convince myself to do some more work on my dissertation- I figure if I try and bash out about 500 words a day that at least gets me somewhere and 500 words shouldn't be that much, right?  It just seems like an insurmountable task and I'm being so ridiculously lazy and easily distracted- listening to the radio and end up pottering around on Fearne Cotton's twitter...what is becoming of me? :p

Also need to get myself down to the station to talk to someone about the effects of the snow, for this mega-scary article I need to write for my MA..

Off to the cinema with Sophie this afternoon, so that should be jolly :)

It's been a morning of domesticity- I've been doing washing, although I am baffled by how I can spend nearly 4 hours cleaning my bedroom and it seems to be in even more of a mess than it was before!  I've also got my chicken stock out of the freezer to make a sweetcorn and pepper soup.  Been hunting for the recipe online for ages because we had it at work and it was immense, but finally found it in a massive book o'soups that my aunt had.

Indulged my Lush addiction again recently: my face is so soft following purchase of the slightly-derangedly smelling and appearing CoalFace- my face is so soft! I spent ages sitting with BBSeaweed on my face yesterday (a gorgeous fresh facemask)...mmm I smelt so good!

Start.

So this is me attempting to actually keep a proper blog going- there are so many blogs I read and enjoy and I'm hoping to be able to keep the dedication of posting on a fairly regular basis this time, and maybe someone else will enjoy my nonsensical ramblings.

I'm in my final year of my undergraduate degree of English Literature and History at a well-respected UK University, and I'm currently very, very stressed with essays, my dissertation (sorely neglected) and a heap of extra work which has just arrived because of my upcoming interview for a place on the Journalism MA at the same uni.  I'm excited to get an interview, but I have to sit an exam as well as pre-preparing a 400-word article on 'local transport', and it's all rather scary!  I think I can do it, it's just daunting- what happens if my stuff isn't good enough; if I don't get it? I've got a flat for the next academic year; I love the city but I don't want to be paying to live there if I've flunked out of a course...

This morning I woke up with a killer headache, it was like my brain was trying to burst out of my skull.  But painkillers and a lazy morning (bed and a gorgeous Lush honey face mask- my face is so soft!) later, I feel considerably better.

Now to attack one essay, and the dissertation...